OFFERINGS OF WISDOM

I have been reflecting on how I’ve handled my experiences of pain, suffering and hardship in life and what lessons I would like to offer to others:

1) Feel Your Feelings

Do not numb yourself to your emotions. Let them move through you. Work on you. Shape you.
See depression as a cleanse.
See failures as temporary mistakes on your quest in learning how to enable your Soul to Soar and your Heart to Sing.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” ― Eric Thomas

2) Don’t Lower Your Standards

Don’t let the pain of your disappointments lower your standards or ambitions.
Your deepest desires are unshakably true. Never give up on pursuing their fulfillment.

“True desire in the heart for anything good is God’s proof to you sent beforehand to indicate that it’s yours already,” – Denzel Washington

3) Practice Self-Responsibility, Forgiveness and Compassion.

Self-Responsibility. When things go wrong in your life, start by looking at yourself and inquiring into what you could have done better. Don’t be a victim. At a fundamental level almost anyone who harmed you, you let them in your life. And if there was a fundamental misalignment between the two of you, you only chose that person because you hadn’t yet sufficiently learned that lesson.

Forgiveness. Holding onto resentment and anger is an emotional poison that only hurts yourself.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned – Gautama Buddha

Compassion. Understand that people aren’t evil. They have their own traumas and deficiencies, and most people really are trying to do the best they can. Do not morally vilify people for their incapacity. But do raise your standards. And even if you are hurt by people, you can still unconditionally love them through their own growth experience. All human Souls are evolving back up towards the Divine Light of God. But sometimes some of them get stuck, and forget who they are and forget that we are all Ultimately One. Help them remember. Even when they hurt you.

4) Fear is an Illusion

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Fear fundamentally arises from a false illusion of separateness from the totality of being. Death is an illusion. The personality dies but the soul lives on and is always learning, growing and progressing. Learning to rewire your identity to the whole of the cosmos and your agency to the timeless depth of your soul is one of the most powerful spiritual transformations you can have.

5) Pain is Inevitable in Life but Suffering is a Choice.

Whether life phenomena are experienced as mere pain sensation arising in the field of awareness, or instead as unbearable suffering is a matter of learnable perspective.

In essence, this is a summary of the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism.

I’ve seen them well summarized like this:

i. Suffering, unsatisfactoriness, dissatisfaction, disappointment, illusion and confusion are an inescapable part of life.
ii. There is a root cause for these.
iii. There is a way to work with and eventually remove this cause.
iv. There is a practical method for doing so accessible to anyone willing to apply themselves.

Every human can find their own meditative path of Awakening, if they would like to be free of suffering, experience Ultimate Liberation, the flourishing of all positive states and an inextricable feeling of meaning, purpose and connectedness.

If you have had glimpses of these Higher States of Consciousness, which almost everyone has, know that they are Real.
Have faith that you can access them all the time. And that if you find the right teacher and set of practices and lineages aligned for your personality and soul, you can have access to these deeper truths of Reality all the time.

The Great Spiritual Saints, Sages and Mystics of Human History are not wrong.
In fact, they are more right than the small you could ever know.

HOW MY SPIRITUAL CONFIDENCE IS BORN OF PAIN & SUFFERING

This is a long post I wrote this morning…so set aside 10-15 minutes to read it.

I have been sharing a lot of content that I’m sure many people feel is shamelessly self-promoting, arrogantly over-confident and an unreal farce for deep insecurity and unresolved shadow.

In this post, I will share many of the incredibly challenging experiences that enabled me to reach my current perch of unshakeable confidence.

Hopefully you will understand more about how the times of my greatest weakness, ultimately became the fuel for my greatest strength. And that my posts of strength rest on substantive foundations rather than air.
————-

“The strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell. It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it’s plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength. Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight.”

I have been through a lot of struggle in my life to get where I am today.

• I have struggled with social alienation, with both men and women, for most of my life.
• I have dealt with the intense Autoimmune illnesses of Leaky Gut, hyper-allergic-sensitivity to foods and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.
• I have been through 4 episodes of Major Depression.
• I have been a part of many gut wrenching business failures, co-founder divorces and legal warfare.

My strength comes from the conquest of my adversity.

A) Social Alienation:

I have felt socially alienated for most of my life.

I didn’t have a close friend who I could truly discuss my true feelings about myself and the world until I was a sophomore in high school.

Instead of relationships founded on depth and connection, I derived my confidence and social self-worth from my athletic abilities.

As an athletic kid and teenager, when I was healthy, I was in the top 1% of my age group.

When I was 13, I started experiencing chronic back and ankle injuries that kept me perpetually in athletic purgatory. I was healthy enough to play, but never healthy enough to play to my potential or my peak abilities for very long.

From this place I was no longer a leader on my sports teams and the bond of masculine brotherhood was no longer there in the same way. Competing from an often injured place, I was now more burden than value.

I couldn’t find anyone who met me intellectually and spiritually, so now with my primary modality of social-connectedness gone, I felt completely alone.

While injured, I felt my social stature amongst men decrease. So did my self-confidence and it was harder to defend myself from the typical teenage jockeying for status. My social life was full of intentional emotional bullies, unsympathetic classmates, and little camaraderie on any level.

I also felt unattractive and undesirable to women. I was rejected by women I was sexually attracted to hundreds of times. I was rejected by women I loved many times. After high school, most of these interactions were with women 5-10 years older than me. Since I dropped out of college almost immediately to enter the technology world of Silicon Valley, these were the women in my community (if women were around much at all, in the 90/10 gender ratio waters I often swam in).

I was often told implicitly or explicitly by women that our connection was real, but that they couldn’t commit to a deeper physical connection because of our age difference. I was left to dwell in the feelings of unrealized possibility and unrequited love.

I endured the societal pressure, pain and loneliness of not losing my virginity until my early 20s. I didn’t have a girlfriend until I was 25. After all of these experiences, I couldn’t help but wonder whether there was something fundamentally wrong or unloveable about me, despite a deep sense of self-worth ready to rush back to the surface at the first sign of external validation.

(An Aside: I feel so fortunate that my first imprint of committed partnership in this life has been with Tara. Where I have felt fully loved, seen, appreciated and directly experienced the power of a securely attached romantic bond. I feel so grateful for being part of an enduring relationship, that has been so transformative in how we have offered each other mutual support towards evolving into greater versions of ourselves.)

B) Entrepreneurial Hardship

When I was working on the early ideas behind the Startup Genome I was told by entrepreneurs that I respected that I was delusional and that I should give up and go back to school.

Even after my work started getting traction in the world, I was still told by some of those same people that my work on the Startup Genome was worthless, harmful to entrepreneurs, and that I should quit and go back to the safety of a conventional life path by getting an undergraduate degree at Stanford or working at a well funded tech startup.

I have been rejected by people in the business world hundreds of times.I have attempted dozens of business ideas with friends that have failed at various stages of development.I have been forced out of a company I co-founded, that I put the entire force of my being, vitality, and life mission behind.

I have had some of my closest mentors abruptly disown and abandon me, presumably because they were afraid of my fire — and have had them never truly engage with me again.I have been in legal warfare with my best friend and become good friends again years later. I have been completely broke where I also felt too ashamed to ask family for help.

I have felt incredibly excited to collaborate on a business with one of my spiritual teachers, only to find his own self-worthlessness come out in equity discussions, and when we couldn’t come to agreement, have him threaten to sue me if I worked with anyone on similar concept. At this point, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was destined to simply repeat the pattern of seeing the potential for beautiful, transformational tech companies that would continually be undermined by the lack of enduring alignment with my business partners.

C) Biological Illness

I have been diagnosed with Leaky Gut, toxic mold poisoning, heavy metal poisoning and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.

Worse still, before I found conformational diagnoses with cutting edge autoimmune based lab testing, close people in my life believed I was a Hypochondriac or at the least, almost all my symptoms were Psychological rather than Biological.

When I first learned about Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, I read that it was a lifetime illness that could only be managed not cured. I read dozens of stories from people on forums on the internet, who validated that the lifetime incurable nature of the condition. Their lives seemed miserable and full of unfulfilling, meaningless struggle.

Initially, my family had a lot of resistance to getting me the medical support I needed to investigate this Autoimmune disorder, as the tests costed thousands of dollars, and the actions to take as a result were not necessarily going to be clear.

My condition of Multiple Chemical Sensitivity was still very much a part of my life. Even though I had a proper diagnosis, the healing road was long and uncertain.

Living with MCS, the world outside my home was always dangerous and unsafe. Everywhere I went, harmful invisible, small chemical particles lurked. I couldn’t go to any social or professional event without fear that I might have to leave. And when I would insist that I couldn’t be in a space due to MCS, many people wouldn’t understand why and also believe there was something psychologically wrong with me.

To a person without Multiple Chemical Sensitivity the effect of these particles is a minor stressor that is unnoticeable to most in their conscious awareness and is easily processed by the Liver.

To me however, small quantities of these harmful, airborne particles would trigger a debilitating Autoimmune reaction leaving me to feel inflamed, fatigued and mentally foggy like I had 3 glasses of wine.

Sometimes, when I felt comfortable enough with the people I was with and there was low grade mold or VOCs in the space I was in, I would put on one of those high tech respirators that bikers in China wear to protect themselves from air pollution.

But I still I felt like one of those strange feeble looking women you see in the airport with the medical masks over their face — instead of being the strong, masculine leader I saw myself on the trajectory of becoming.

Most old buildings have some quantity of mold and most new buildings have off-gassing Volatile Organic Chemicals (VOCs) primarily from building materials, furniture and poor air quality due to the of circulation of fresh, oxygenated outdoor air.

At times, I felt completely debilitated, cognitively incapacitated, and energetically drained from my biological and psychological illnesses.

Without my abilities, and without a prognosis that included hope for making a full recovery I often felt completely worthless and that life was not worth living.

D) Psychological Illness

I have been through 4 episodes of Major Depression.

I have experienced the Dark Night of the Soul not just once, but multiple times.

I have met with many therapists who made my depression worse, reflecting back a set of life possibilities for myself that felt like Spiritual Suicide.

I have been completely crushed by the Simultaneity of my problems:

All at the same time, I was kicked out the company I co-founded, I lost my sense of life purpose and direction, could check nearly all the boxes on the Quarter Life Crisis checklist, I had toxic mold in my living situation and experienced constant low grade inflammation, brain fog, chronic fatigue and sensorial tingling that left me with little capacity to dig myself out of the hole I was in.

I had almost no money. The rest was being drained by poor quality lawyers who failed to translate my case into a viable strategy and led me down a legal dead-end, where they were simply wasting tens of thousands of dollars my and my family’s money. I had no ability to get or work at a job. And no ability to create a new healthy living situation for myself.

I would talk with friends and family about my situation and almost always came away feeling misunderstood and more depressed due to lack of resonance and the additive feeling of a vulnerability hangover and the effect it would have on my reputation if I ever did find a way to get better again.

I thought, “who would support me in being an entrepreneur again, as a co-founder, employee or investor, if they’ve seen me like this?”

Friends and family felt helpless in knowing how to support me and I had to endure the inaccuracy of their projections.

One of the biggest areas of dissonance when I would share what I was feeling with my friends and family, is that their message would roughly be along the lines of, “it’s okay if you don’t achieve your ambitions…they were naíve or misguided ambitions in some ways, and the lesson to learn from these hard times that have sent you into depression is that you need to take less risk and be more realistic.”

I didn’t accept that, even when I was depressed.

I wanted a path to get better and to make another attempt at my life goals — from a new angle, with new learnings and new depth alive inside me.

I never wanted to give up. I merely felt lost without a viable path forward toward recovery and re-emergence.

Even when I fell low enough, for long enough, that friends finally were able to provide me with the support I needed to form a foundation for my life from which I could rebuild, my outlook was still very bleak.

How could I ever feel satisfied living such a humble life as a result of my biological and psychological illnesses when all the meaning I found in my life was from the Existential Hero’s Journey of grand contribution that I felt I was on since I was a young boy.

I felt that everything I wanted to do with my life was now longer possible.

I wanted to die and start over.

I thought either I have a soul and I will get another shot or that is it and the pain will be over.

If there’s no path out from where I am, either option is better than this debilitating purgatory. But I can endure for a long time before I’m ready to take my own life.

I felt ashamed for thinking this way. And that I couldn’t share this logic with anyone lest they try to hospitalize me or put me on medication, or some other conventional medical intervention, coming from a place of fear rather than understanding and love.

I felt ashamed that I wasn’t able to hold many of my Spiritual Realizations through experiences of Depression. But I also felt the boldness of my soul’s mission was also a Spiritual Truth that many traditions Spiritually Bypass by skipping straight from the Relative self to the Absolute God.

I had a Major Depressive Episode go from bad to worse when the 2nd night of an Ayahuasca Ceremony completely overwhelmed me with feelings that the Life Story and Hero’s Journey I worked so hard to construct for myself was a complete lie, and that I should just kill myself now.

I was left feeling utterly flattened into a pit of despair and hopelessness for nearly 7 months towards the end of 2014 into 2015.

It’s possible I shouldn’t have been doing Ayahuasca, as it can often accelerate the emotional amplitude of those who experience both intense depression and hypomania. However, I would still like to engage the medicine again when I am more in the middle of my emotional spectrum, as I have so many friends who have received so much value from this work.

I have endured the exhausting never ending background noise of Suicidal Ideation for months at a time.

I have imagined that the most my life would be worth to society would be as a “Cautionary Tale of Ambition gone Wrong”. A modern day Icarus.

I was too ashamed to see friends.

I couldn’t work. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t feel.

To beat the suicidal ideation, I resolved to simply let the world do whatever it wanted with me.

And to see how society would treat “a failed, debilitated, formerly intelligent, ambitious, middle class white male”.

Unable to see a path out of my situation, I played chess and online poker for 12 hours a day to numb the pain.

It may not always be easy to tell that I am a highly emotional person, since in any personality system I am one of the most cognitive types. But the intensity with which I feel is what drives the bipolarity of my emotions. And I see this as an immense strength and gift that I must learn to harness rather than illness.

In my most recent depression, I completely surrendered what I once believed to be my Purpose and Destiny.

I completely gave up on my dreams and my identity.

I gave up all that I am to the Sublime Powers beyond me.

And I rested in the faith of their plan for me.

I rested in the truth of Being and Becoming.

Of relative perfection and that whatever happens from here on out is perfect. Is beautiful. Is art.

I chose to source my identity not from anything I did in this world.

But from the depth of my Soul.

And the Oneness of my Spirit.

Suffice to say,

Spirit has trained me well.

And what my pain and suffering have done is burn away all that is not me,

Leaving only,

Who I Truly Am

——–

OFFERINGS OF WISDOM

I have been reflecting on how I’ve handled my experiences of pain, suffering and hardship in life and what lessons I would like to offer to others:

1) Feel your feelings. Do not numb yourself to your emotions. Let them move through you. Work on you. Shape you.

See depression as a cleanse. See failures as temporary mistakes on your quest in learning how to enable your Soul to Soar and your Heart to Sing.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” ― Eric Thomas

2) Don’t let the pain of your disappointments lower your standards or ambitions. Your deepest desires are unshakably true. Never give up on pursuing their fulfillment.

“True desire in the heart for anything good is God’s proof to you sent beforehand to indicate that it’s yours already,” – Denzel Washington

3) Practice Self-Responsibility, Forgiveness and Compassion.

Self-Responsibility. When things go wrong in your life, start by looking at yourself and inquiring into what you could have done better. Don’t be a victim. At a fundamental level almost anyone who harmed you, you let them in your life. And if there was a fundamental misalignment between the two of you, you only chose that person because you hadn’t yet sufficiently learned that lesson.

Forgiveness. Holding onto resentment and anger is an emotional poison that only hurts yourself.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned – Gautama Buddha

Compassion. Understand that people aren’t evil. They have their own traumas and deficiencies, and most people really are trying to do the best they can. Do not morally vilify people for their incapacity. But do raise your standards. And even if you are hurt by people, you can still unconditionally love them through their own growth experience. All human Souls are evolving back up towards the Divine Light of God. But sometimes some of them get stuck, and forget who they are and forget that we are all Ultimately One. Help them remember. Even when they hurt you.

4) Fear is an illusion

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” – Franklin Delanor Roosevelt

Fear fundamentally arises from a false illusion of separateness from the totality of being.
Death is an illusion. The personality dies but the soul lives on and is always learning, growing and progressing. Learning to rewire your identity to the whole of the cosmos and your agency to the timeless depth of your soul is one of the most powerful spiritual transformations you can have.

5) Pain is Inevitable in Life but Suffering is a Choice.

Whether life phenomena are experienced as mere pain sensation arising in the field of awareness, or instead as unbearable suffering is a matter of learnable perspective.

In essence, this is a summary of the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism.

I’ve seen them well summarized like this:
i. Suffering, unsatisfactoriness, dissatisfaction, disappointment, illusion and confusion are an inescapable part of life.
ii. There is a root cause for these.
iii. There is a way to work with and eventually remove this cause.
iv. There is a practical method for doing so accessible to anyone willing to apply themselves.

Every human can find their own meditative path of Awakening, if they would like to be free of suffering, experience Ultimate Liberation, the flourishing of all positive states and an inextricable feeling of meaning, purpose and connectedness.

If you have had glimpses of these Higher States of Consciousness, which almost everyone has, know that they are Real. Have faith that you can access them all the time. And that if you find the right teacher and set of practices and lineages aligned for your personality and soul, you can have access to these deeper truths of Reality all the time.

The Great Spiritual Saints, Sages and Mystics of Human History are not wrong.

In fact, they are more right than the small you could ever know.

MAKING PROGRESS TOWARDS A GRAND UNIFICATION THEORY OF EVERYTHING

Nice! I just figured out a key missing ontological construct to explain how Time Travel works.

Unifying Spiritual Claims about Simultaneous Time with the intractable problems of forward and backward causality in Physics (the killing your grandfather problem).

It has to do with the conversion process between Energy, Information and Matter as they move between the Gross, Subtle, Causal…(and higher and subtler) realms.

And how to use multi-dimensional Developmental Constraints to enable the Computational Conservatism/Pruning required to support Parallel Universe Hypotheses, reining in the infinite branching problem.

The model (which I created part of 2 years ago) also posits a 10 dimensional space (possibly more) like many variants of String Theory, but unlike most of those models, these higher dimensions actually have Correspondence and Coherence to validated Phenomena in Reality.

What I mean by that is, it is possible to tap into these higher dimensions in your First Person Phenomenological Experience via Meditation. Whereas in String Theory these higher dimensions are just weird Mathematical Abstractions that don’t seem to provide any real explanatory utility beyond the 4th or 5th dimension.

In the model I’m proposing, you get the first 10 dimensions by taking the conventional 4 dimensions in the gross Realm (3D + Time), the same 4 in the Subtle Realm, 1 more in the Causal Realm, and 1 more from a 5th dimensional time folding dimension — 4+4+1+1 = 10.

See, String Theory doesn’t know what to do with all the dimensions their mathematical equations predict beyond the 4th dimension. But the math actually exactly alludes to the model I’m proposing here:

“It’s not so hard to construct higher dimensional worlds using the Einstein equations. But the question is then: WHY BOTHER?
It’s because physicists dream of a unified theory: a single mathematical framework in which all fundamental forces and units of matter can be described together in a manner that is internally consistent and consistent with current and future observation.
And it turns out that having extra dimensions of space makes it possible to build candidates for such a theory.

Extra dimensions in string theory:

Superstring theory is a possible unified theory of all fundamental forces, but superstring theory requires a 10 dimensional spacetime, or else bad quantum states called ghosts with unphysical negative probabilities become part of the spectrum.
Now this creates a problem in d=10 string theory: how to get the d=4 world as we know it out of the theory.”
– ( Patricia Schwarz, PhD Physicist, CalTech, http://www.superstringtheory.com/experm/exper5.html)

This is not a bug, it is a feature! :

“Bad quantum states called ghosts with unphysical negative probabilities become part of the spectrum”.

It is pointing to the existence of the Subtle Realm but which the theoretical physicists can’t see because they don’t have access to the Subtle Realm in their own personal experience and thus no conceptual framework for making sense of this data which is right in front of their noses!

The problem is that they only believe the Gross Realm of Matter exists and have negated all the other Realms of Reality.

I’m more Philosopher & Systems Theorist than Physicist or Mathematician, so I don’t know yet how to translate an Ontological insight (like Einstein’s thought experiment of the speed of light relative to the bullet train) into a mathematical model that can be experimentally validated, but I suspect I can enroll some physicist friends at some point.

Psychographic entry criteria to fully follow the logic behind the model construction yourself: mastery of AQAL integral theory, deep understanding of evolutionary developmental systems theory, an intermediate understanding of theoretical physics and universe as quantum computer, a taste of all-at-once-ness in the post-awakening stabilization stages of meditation, a spiritual lineage with a rigorous soul development model.

So most challengingly the people who can fully comment on my work at the theoretical level I can probably count on one hand.

I may literally be the only person in the world (right now) with sufficient knowledge and training in all 6 of those aforementioned domains. A couple close friends have 4-5.

But many can contribute through mastery in any of the integrated dimensions to point out what insights are not being taken into account or what problems still need to be solved. Or through other paths that I have not travelled that lead to a similar ‘deep structure’ conclusion with a different ‘surface structure’. An example of a path that I am told is able to do this that I have not walked very far down is the indigenous plant medicine path.

And with my ‘alone on the mountaintop analogy’, I am also pointing to the truth that in a legitimate sense we are all, all alone on our own mountaintop.

Nobody has your exact life experiences, your exact karma, your exact genetic code, your exact combination of lineages and methodologies you accumulated through your lifetimes of experience. And from your own unique mountaintop you have the vantage point to glean your own unique perspective on reality.

The key distinction is what is ‘surface structure’ and what is ‘deep structure’…and ‘What Level of Deep Structure can you see’. i.e. From your mountain top do you just see Newtonian Mechanics or can you see General Relativity. Can you see General Relativity before anyone else like Einstein, or can you see it after Einstein showed us all how to climb that mountain? How clearly can you see from that mountain do you just see hazy outlines of truth or can you see the minuté details and mathematically not just metaphorically explain causal relationships?

What is described here is the time-tested process of how theoretical novelty is generated: new multidisciplinary integration is akin to climbing a new unseen mountain, getting to the top and looking out at the horizon and observing what is now blatantly clear from this new vantage point.

Now I’ve just got to find others who want to climb this mountain so we can collaborate and make further sense of what is possible to see from here.

#livebloggingcreativeprocess
#stanforddropoutstillapolymath
#findinggodthroughthemind

DEATH AT BURNING MAN — MAKING SENSE OF LIFE, DEATH, PSYCHEDELICS & THE SUBTLE REALM

Trigger warning: If the story of the man who died running into the effigy at Burning Man is traumatizing to you, do not read this post.

If you want to read my take on this incident which includes extended commentary on the Nature of Psychedelic Experiences, the Realm of Subtle Beings & Energy, and a larger spiritual perspective on the Cycle of Life and Death, then read away.

———————————————

Oh man what a way to go.

It appears that the Occam’s Razor for this incident is that this was an accidental death induced by phenomenal occurrences on a psychedelic trip.

Some have speculated that he believed he was Daenerys from Game of Thrones, and as such believed he was immune to fire.

Certainly the pictures depict a man who is charging forth like he believes himself to be a hero in a fairy tale, and not a depressed, suicidal man looking to kill himself. However, those attempting suicide are often filled with a rush of adrenaline in their final moments due to their perception of final escape, relief and release.

This is a reminder that psychedelics are dangerous, powerful substances, that need to be treated with care and caution if we are to reap the benefits of their teachings.

….A brief two paragraph interlude for those of you who believe the Subtle Realm is Pre-Rational Hippie Mumbo Jumbo — know that I once believed this as many did, but that it is most definitely real by many legitimate epistemological methods, just not primarily the methods you have been taught or the methods conventional Western Science accepts, but they are learnable.

The Harry Potter series is actually incredibly powerful and accurate allegory. The world of magic co-exists with the ‘normal world’ and is generally undetectable in every day life, unless you’ve consciously developed the Subtle Sensitivity to operate in this Realm.

…[Back to regularly scheduled magical programming]…Psychedelics blow open the defenses of the Subtle Body, and litter your Aura with holes.

This partial Mechanism of Action is both the upside and the downside to Psychedelics.

Psychedelics make you more permeable to your surroundings and the Subtle, Etheric and Astral Worlds that are always around us, but otherwise much harder to perceive.

Psychedelic Trips can bestow amazing Visions, Insights and Information. These come primarily from two sources: your Higher and Lower Self — the Super-Conscious and Sub-Conscious, respectively, as well as Subtle Beings and Entities.

Attribution of where energies are coming from is both challenging and essential for Integration.

Subtle Beings & Entities can be both Beneficent and Malevolent, and the whole spectrum in between, just like humans.

When you have a good or bad trip, how do you sort out what Energies came from a Subtle Entity and what was repressed emotional content in your Shadow, or Blessings from your Higher Self?

Epistemological Methods in the Subtle Realm, colloquially known as, “How do you know what to attribute your subjective experiences to?”, are very under-appreciated and under-developed in most Subtle Realm Travelers, and the New Age Community at large.

Burning Man is a particularly potent environment for the Subtle Realms. Subtle Beings of all varieties make the Pilgrimage to the Playa each year, just as the humans do. To them it is an Auric Feast. Which Energies you personally come into contact depends a lot on who you are and what Energetic Frequencies you are Resonate with at a particular moment in time.

Many of my Spiritual Teachers have advised against using Psychedelics. I have not stopped using them completely, but I use them far more sparingly, paying careful attention to my Set and Setting. Experience has taught me that I am very sensitive.

My teachers have also said that psychedelics blow open your Timelines and give you access to Energy and Information often before you are ready. And that it is possible to access the same Frequencies with other, safer, healthier and more reliable methods.

The value of psychedelic experiences lies primarily in our ability to stay Awake during the Trip, and Integrate our experiences after the Trip has passed. Staying Awake during a psychedelic experience is primarily about maintaining Presence and seeing Phenomena as Expressions of Spirit rather than Contracting back into the False Stories of the Egoic self. With respect to Integration, Ken Wilber has brilliantly put that ‘States can come for free, but Structure is Earned.’

Burning Man is one of the most crazy settings possible to do Psychedelics. In effect, ‘crazy’ means high risk/reward profile. I have experienced both ends of the spectrum at Burning Man in my 4 years attending the festival since 2009: Ecstatic Kosmic Downloads that were Integrated as Irrevocable core aspects of my Being…and I have been thrown into a Miserable Nightmares of Disorientation and Vomit, mixed with pernicious Paranoia that I was in Mortal Danger.

A further point of context on this rather Spectacular Death this year at Burning Man, is understanding the True Nature of Life and Death in this world.

Perhaps most importantly is the false belief that we have only one life, and after we die that is it. I wrote a post last month on this topic calling it, ‘The Most Insidious Belief in Western Culture (https://www.facebook.com/maxhmarmer/posts/10211434991964546)

A Soul’s journey is comprised of millions of lifetimes.

So Death is not something to fear, but rather something to come to accept and come to peace with.

Especially if you would like to Gracefully and Consciously move through the In-Between Realms known as the Bardo, as you enter your next life.

We all ‘Transition’ when our time has come.

That has much less to do with our own Agency and much more to do with: Karma, a new life that is calling us, how much we have fulfilled our current life contracts, whether we’re ready to go, and whether our unfulfilled contracts are deserving of Divine Intervention.

It appears to me the man who ran into the fire, Aaron Joel Mitchell, was ready for his next adventure.

May his Fate inform Ours.

CHÖD — CUTTING THROUGH CONFUSION TO THE TRUE NATURE OF THE CULTURE WARS

Enough Content has now been Invoked in the Field of my Facebook feed that people have revealed where they are coming from.

It is time to reveal and explain the Map that can make Order out of this appearing Chaos.

The essential idea of this Map is that all values, Beliefs, Thoughts, Emotions, Cultures, Systems and Institutions emerge out of a particular Field of Consciousness, that oscillates around a phase space like an electron cloud.

This is not a complete map of the Field of Consciousness, but rather a 2 dimensional projection of two of the most fundamental dimensions: Psychological Developmental Stages and State-Stages of Consciousness.

Other hidden variables, from this perspective, include domain specific Developmental Lines, Typological structures like personality, Shadow, and Trans-Incarational and Collective Karma.

On this map you will see 3 Rectangles.

The Red Rectangle represents the field of consciousness where most of my critics reside.

The Green Rectangle represents the field of consciousness where the people I seek to influence reside.

The Black Rectangle represents where those in the Red Rectangle perceive phenomena in the Green Rectangle to reside.

The Black Rectangle is also where most actual Misognysts, Racists and Nazis reside.

The phenomena where those in the Red Rectangle misclassify the Green Rectangle as the Black Rectangle is an instance of what is called the Pre/Trans Fallacy.

There are various properties inherent to the Terrain within the Red Rectangle that work together to create this particular Pre/Trans Fallacy.

One feature is Moral Absolutism. Those in the Red Rectangle don’t believe anything could possibly be more Evolved than their Perspective, so they improperly classify it as less Evolved than their Perspective.

Or in other words, “if you’re not for women’s rights in the way that has been deemed Morally Correct within the Red Rectangle, then you must be a Misogynistic, White Nationalist”.

This is aligned with the Post-Modernist Deconstructionist Project where all Vertical Structures are perceived to be Dominator Hierarchies, which must be collapsed to equal playing fields.

Those in the Red Rectangle will deny the Field of Consciousness exists as depicted by this Map. However, it is also a well studied feature of the Field of Consciousness that those in the Pluralistic Band will reject anything resembling Hierarchy. So arguing with people in the Red Rectangle about whether the Field of Consciousness exists is fruitless, unless they have some access to the Integral Band of Consciousness.

This angers those in the Red Rectangle because by stating that Reality effectively has a Perceptual Permission System, you are violating one of their Fundamental Values that Phenomena should Universally Accessible.

Furthermore, it is a feature of the Field of Consciousness that many people who reside within the Red Rectangle believe it is their mission in life to Deconstruct Hierarchy. So they really won’t like this Map.

However, it is worth noting that Deconstructing Dominator Hierarchies within the Black Rectangle is a worthy cause— the Rational and Mythic Bands of Consciousness.

Unfortunately, Mythic Structures and Integral Structures look the same to those in the Red Rectangle.

As a consequence, those within the Red Rectangle are simultaneously Healing the Past and Preventing the Future.

The Integral Band of Consciousness rejects overdone Deconstructionism and recognizes the Systemic Nature of Reality as Holarchical, rather than Hierarchical.

Holoarchy is a series of nested Holons. Holons are constructs that are simultaneously Parts and Wholes. So when we say Reality is Holarchical, we mean it is made up of Systems within Systems within Systems…

To accurately determine where one resides in the Field of Consciousness requires learning Integral Epistemology and Methodological Pluralism.

Therefore, if you are within the Red Rectangle you will be unable to employ methodology that is capable of correctly classifying people without committing Pre/Trans Fallacies.

Those in the Green Rectangle may or may not possess adequate methods of classifying people and phenomena within the Field of Consciousness, but precise accuracy requires considerable skill, attunement and error correction methodologies. Nonetheless, low-precision intuitive classification is reliable and valuable.

I hope this is illuminating to those of you in the Green Rectangle.

To those of you in the Red Rectangle…

I hope you will turn your energies to Deconstructing Hierarchies that are actually in the Black Rectangle and stop wasting your Precious Energy on me.

The Evolution of My Personal Views on Reincarnation

I wrote a post a few days ago about how the belief in the West of the finality and permanence of death is at the root of most psychological dysfunction and illness.

I was asked in a comment by a friend to elaborate how my personal views on the subject had changed over time. The comment was quite popular so I thought I would resurface it as its own post, as people found it valuable for me to combine a ‘societal objective’ perspective with a ‘personal subjective’ one.

Q: Max, what probability do you believe there is that you will have more than one life? And how have your views changed over time, and what were the reasons for the change?

I’ve travelled the gamut. I believed there was probably a 50% chance from ages 0-13. I felt there was something more and something unexplained, but I didn’t have the mental frameworks or culture to adopt a belief in reincarnation.

Ages 13-18 I rebelled against Judeo-Christian culture and read lots of books by the New Atheists: Sam Harris, Dawkins, Dennett etc. I made fun of the people who believed in God and had no evidence for their belief. The belief in more than one life dropped to 10-20%.

Ages 18-24 I experienced many non-ordinary states of consciousness thru a variety of methods. I struggled to integrate my experience. My psyche was at odds and my internal family systems were in conflict. I moved through great highs and lows. I studied philosophy and psychology intensively and gained the mental scaffolding to hold the complexity of many perspectives, and how to integrate rationalism and intellectualism with spirituality to move beyond dogmatic religion and unrigorous new age mumbo jumbo. I continued to struggle to integrate and stabilize my experience. Many discrepancies and life circumstances would cause doubt to rebirth and regrow. Probability — 30-75%

Ages 24-27 — I found my teachers, my lineages, my direct transmissions of guarded teachings, my community of people on the same path. The 4 quadrant structures (of consciousness, physical health, community and life support systems) slowly formed to enable my transformation.

Integration has still been a challenge. Reconditioning and reprogramming is hard. There are many vestiges of my old self that continue to need to be discovered and transformed. I’ve been thrown back into darkness a couple times to test my faith and to directly experience and live in illusions again so that they may be excavated and purified.

Probability 60%-90%; Last 3 months 90%-100%.

The Most Insidious Belief in Western Culture

Perhaps the most insidious belief in Western Culture is the strong presumption that once you die, that’s it.

This belief is at the root of most unhappiness, dissatisfaction, despair, depression, illness, angst, exploitation and greed.

All these emotions owe much of their existence to filling an existential hole that does not actually exist.

Recognizing trans-incarnation begins a path towards liberation.

…May you walk by faith and not by sight.

…May you have the courage to journey from the Safe Harbors of your Worldview Illusion

Into the thrilling open waters of the Unknown.

To begin, repeat the mantra to yourself, “Life is not what it seems.”