A Script For Women to Deal with Sexually Leaky, Sensitive New-Age Guys

Yesterday a facebook friend of mine posted this — and it got a lot of attention, energy and engagement:

I’d like to mention another phenomenon I’ve noticed regarding male behavior: the sensitive spiritual guy who loves women SO MUCH that he just has to LOVE THEM ALL (i.e., is constantly engaging in quasi or blatantly poly emotional or sensual or sexual behavior, is surreptitiously or blatantly “checking other women out,” is puppy piling every chance he gets – and all of this even when in a committed relationship, etc). And he can get away with it because he’s the rare appealing spiritual guy in a sea of 100 other amazing & awakening women. This one’s a bit more pernicious, because it LOOKS like men trying to “heal” or “appreciate” the feminine, but my experience is that it’s more shakti stealing….Can anyone relate? Feels like a continuation of male privilege behavior in new age guise. I’ve also recently been at some mixed gender awareness events & I heard the confession of men that “I simply can’t help myself when an attractive woman is around, I go all to pieces, even if I’m married, and what do I do with that energy?” Something feels off to me with that, as well.

I agree.

And I wanted to offer a script to beat these men at their own narrative control game.

If he says something like, “I simply can’t help myself when an attractive woman is around, I go all to pieces, even if I’m married, and what do I do with that energy?”

Tell him, “You might want to focus on spiritual development over attending to the Feminine, because spiritually developed people have mastered their impulses and reactivity.”

Then ask him, “What’s more important to you: your spiritual development or fulfilling your sexual desires?”

He will probably say ‘spiritual development’ to keep the act going.

Then when he says “spiritual development”,

Tell him, “Probably the best way for you to progress spiritually would be to take a vow of celibacy for a while until you have control over your sexual impulses. Then once you have control over your impulses you can reintegrate your sexuality into your spiritually.

This would both serve your Higher Self and the Collective Feminine.

That’s what you really want right??

Because right now your un-integrated leaky sexuality is perpetuating the problem.”

My assessment of the situation is that most of these Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAGs) are just unconscious Wolves in Sheep Clothing.

They unwittingly move towards the behaviors that confer evolutionarily advantages towards advancing the base desires of sex, power and genetic replication.

Imitation is rampantly successful in the Evolutionary Record and the history of Natural Selection.

It is much easier to imitate Spiritual Development and attempt to reap the rewards from that status than to actually BECOME Spiritually Developed.

Good luck out there!

On #MeToo and sexual assault

I’m saddened by how many female friends of mine have experienced sexual assault.
But I’m heartened by the collective courage of women speaking out in the last 24 hours.

Men,
We must do better.
And commit to holding ourselves and our brothers to a MUCH higher standard.
Which means doing the work to heal our wounds, lighten our individual and collective Karmic Shadows, and learn the skills for authentic relating.

Sexuality is never something to be forced.
Paradoxically and ironically when sexuality is forced,
It moves the Assaulter farther away from what they actually desire:
Love. Connectedness. Pleasure. Mattering. Belonging.
Sexuality is messy, and it’s easy to make mistakes and hurt people even when the best of intentions are present.
Which is why it is all the important we establish a culture of forgiveness and restoration when mistakes are inevitably made, rather a culture of blame and punishment.

Remember we are one human family,
All trying to find our way back Home.
Victims of Assault,
If you ever need a Fiery Soul to protect you and direct some Intense Heat at those who deserve it,
Or a champion of Restorative Justice in service of our Collective Communal Healing and Evolution,
Or if you just need someone to listen to you, a shoulder to cry on or a safe, warm hug,
I am here.
Just send me a ping,
Or give me a ring.

A lesson in tantra: we’re not talking about sex

We’re talking about ENERGY!!

Here’s the Critical Context you need to know:

Do not attempt this practice yourself unless you have Stabilized Emptiness and a Teacher who has confirmed you have sufficient Mastery…

And even that is only one of many Prerequisites.

I’m merely showing you what’s possible.

Most meditation paths are flaccid like a limp dick.

Asceticism is definitely not a 21st century Leading Edge.

However, celibacy is useful for those with sexual fixations.

I’m concerned about the all the Tantrikas in the New Age community out there practicing Tantra divorced from sacred Tibetan Buddhist or Vedic Tantric tradition and lineage.

Practicing the sexual frequencies of Tantra without Stabilizing Awakening will send your Spiritual Progress Backwards for Years.

True Tantra must be the Union of Form and Formlessness.

If you want to walk the path of True Tantra you must Cultivate Bodhicitta otherwise if you try to access this Energy for your own Selfish Gain, you will be Attacked by Energies in the Subtle Realm like this year’s Suicidal Effigy at Burning Man.

Heed this warning. This is not theory. I have friends who have been hit with Mania, Strokes and Physical Injury.

“Bodhicitta is a spontaneous wish to attain enlightenment motivated by great compassion for all sentient beings, accompanied by a falling away of the attachment to the illusion of an inherently existing self.”

*The demons I was referring to are also called Dharma Protectors or Wrathful Deities.

Ultimately, you want to be an Empty Vessel free of Energetic Content, with the Capacity to Access whatever Energy is called for in the Moment based on Intention and Higher Will.