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06Mar 2018

What Kind of World would be Manifest if both Men and Women were Living at this Frequency?

0 Culture, Meditation, Philosophy, Relationships, Sexuality, Spirituality 0

 

For a woman to open up to her immense, natural sexual fullness she needs to trust a man with her heart, soul and sacred feminine core.~ 

She needs to feel that he recognises that she is goddess in incarnate form. He needs to recognise that the core of him – his masculinity – is deeply nourished by the spiritual feminine and that it is only through surrender to this sacred Shakti force that he can become the man he yearns to be (and the world most needs). The blunt – and quite harsh – truth is that most men do not yet realise that they are only experiencing a fraction of their woman’s sexual potential. Through a lack of teaching, role modelling, and example in how to deal with feminine energy, many men bypass the incredible sacred sensual riches that lay deep within a woman’s body.

Worshipping Goddess-energy has nothing to do with satisfying the ego or personality needs of women. It has nothing to do with unequal gender roles or subservience. It is based on this truth: a man who devotes himself to opening up his woman to the full power of her sexual Shakti energy will not only experience heights of erotic pleasure that are off the scale, but will also give himself the strength to step into his own full Divine Masculine purpose.

Devotion to the Feminine Essence is the torchlight for a man to realise his spiritual purpose on the earth. If he has embodied the energy of trust, commitment and dedication to being the best, most evolved man he can be, then she will instantly recognise it. He doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’, or even have it all figured out. He just needs to come to her with a resonance in his heart that says: “I know that it is only through dedicating myself to loving your feminine spirit that you will open your body up to me in the way that will transform me forever. I realise that if I am in any shade of denial in my own life and regarding my masculine purpose, that you will intuitively know it and withhold a portion of your sexual light from me. If I come to you with a willingness to grow, to honour your Light as a means of realising the spiritual and personal potential of both of us, I know that I will get to experience true Heaven when you accept me into your body.

As I come to you with a surrendered, open-hearted, devotional passion, so you respond to me with ever-increasing vulnerability, exquisite melting openness and the most exciting sacred sexual power I could ever experience. You begin to take off your layers of defences; the hardened shell of distrust, self-protection and emotional hurt that has set in from years of feeling that you have to shield your most sacred erotic nature from those men that are not ready to see it.

As the protective layers around your sexual core gradually fall away, I get to experience sex with you as the most transformative key to my own masculine progress and evolution. There is literally nothing else that can encourage me to build my masculine energy and work in the world as the blasting open of your sexual light-centres as the radiance fills my chakras and my heart.’ It is pure, sacred, erotic alchemy: the blending of the completely receptive, wide-opened, fully-trusting feminine body with the devotional and conscious active, directional masculine life force.

Men, when you love a woman in this way you will, as a natural consequence, be asked by the Universe to ‘step up’ to your Life Purpose in ways that require true masculine potency. You will be forced to come out of your hiding places and comfort zones. You will have to start putting yourself ‘on the edge’ of your fears about being out in the world as a warrior presence of masculine wisdom. Experiencing female sexuality in it’s full spectrum of transformational expression will not only send you into physical and spiritual orgasms of cosmic proportions, it will literally ejaculate you into your Masculine Life Purpose. She won’t tolerate anything less; so if you want to keep diving deeper and deeper into the eternally replenishing, profound wonders of the feminine sexual core, you will have to keep on worshipping at her altar so that you get to live as the exceptional man you were born to be.

– Sophie Bashford

Art: “Os Beduínos” by Bruno Steinbach Silvas

04Mar 2018

Men Shutting Down in the Face of Female Emotional Intensity

0 Relationships, Sexuality, Spirituality 0

 

I hear that it is the norm for men to shut down, to avoid, to wither, cower, or lash out in the face of Feminine Tempest.

…but I’m curious how prevalent this is?

Men need to train themselves to be unmovable and unshakeable in the face of this High Frequency Energy.

Men need to learn how to absorb and transmute any discomfort in their body from this emotional intensity and identify as the Open Space in which all things arise.

They must become the Empty Container for the Feminine to express.

For it is the capacity to hold this Storm of Emotional Energy that the Feminine needs to fully drop into Trust, Surrender and in time, Devotion.

And it is the same capacity that is required to be a Man on Purpose.

For the ability to overcome the energetic blockages required to Abide as the Empty Vessel is what is required for True Purpose to pour into your Being from your Soul,

And not just visit for a Peak Experience, but take up Residence.

Where Authentic, Unending Purpose and Power starve any weeds of Ordinary Insecurity.

Instead, Cultivating the Irresistible, Irrevocable Natural State:

Home.

Perhaps the biggest mistake I made in the past was that I believed love was about finding the right person. In reality, love is about becoming the right person. Don’t look for the person you want to spend your life with. Become the person you want to spend your life with.

— Neil Strauss
15Feb 2018

Pithy Post Potpourri – Winter/Spring 2018

0 Artificial Intelligence, Biohacking, Coaching, Creativity, Culture, Dancing, Economics, Education, Entrepreneurship, Futurism, Health, Investing, Learning, Life, Life Purpose, Meditation, Motivation, Music, My Personal Journey, Philosophy, Physical Fitness, Poetry, Politics, Psychology, Relationships, Sexuality, Spirituality, Sports, Startup Science, Success, Systems Thinking, TrueSelf, Video, Writing 0

If you and your partner(s) can’t both reliably access a state of awakened awareness beyond the ordinary sense of self then any exploration of non-monogamy will inevitably lead to an increase in pain and suffering.

#PsychographicEntryCriteria

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When you lose your cool, when you get triggered do you tell yourself to raise your game and live up to a higher standard?

Or do you justify why it was okay to lose your cool and ascribe fault to other people and external circumstances?

This is one of the key regular decisions that separates the extraordinary humans from the ordinary.

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I love my morning meditation view so much.

There is a reason yogis go to the mountaintop.

The sparkling, harmonious, blissful, spacious, luminous nature of reality is unassailably clear.

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People who don’t utilize the tool of debt and credit in their life have been afflicted by a false sense of lack.

They lack sufficient belief in themselves.

And they lack a willingness to invest in themselves for the long run and to bet on themselves.

The question for analyzing whether debt and credit is worth utilizing is very simple:

Can you create more value, faster with the money you are loaned than the interest rate you are given?

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One of the worst decisions the masculine can make is to seek comfort.

The masculine grows through setting big goals, pushing to exhaustion and then savoring accomplishment in the recovery phase before setting a new bigger goal that lies beyond the new expanded comfort zone.

—

From the higher perspective there is no such thing as rejection.

There is just energy jostling around trying to find its way into proper alignment.

From the higher perspective there is no such thing as failure.

There is just feedback about what needs to be improved and recalibrated.

—

Black Panther was so much better than the Last Jedi.

Plot and Story Arc.

Character Development & Consistency.

Visual Effects.

Empowering portrayal of Cultural Minorities.

…the script for Luke Skywalker was particularly terrible…acting like someone who was never a Jedi

…so many of the Star Wars characters felt like forced affirmative action plays rather than authentic casting.

…One disappointing feature of the Wakandan’s was that for being so technologically and culturally advanced in many dimensions, they still had an Ethnocentric Worldview when looking to the outside world, opining about how to help downtrodden and oppressed blacks around the world rather than how to help downtrodden and oppressed humans with their technological prowess.

All for now. No time to be a detailed movie critic.

—

I am currently reading the Life Divine by Sri Aurobindo.

Who else has read it?

My personal website is titled In Quest of Super Humanity and I’m coming to see how my intuitive guidance has been (previously unbeknownst to me) plugged into the same source as Aurobindo’s, especially with respect to his articulation of the Supermind and its Divine Unfolding through Humanity’s Involutionary Process.

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Your body is an instrument that the Consciousness of your Soul learns to play.

An Evolved Soul is therefore a masterful musician.

—

Back on my own again and restarting my cooking skills after 2 years of dormancy.

Immediately noticing a shift in my relationship to food preparation as I’ve deepened my relationship to the fundamentally universal nature of subtle energy in all things.

—

Succinct infographic of a lot of misguided class warfare and anti-wealth sentiment from the Liberal Left.

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Always remember that how we react to every moment of our life will reinforce either our negative habits or positive habits. No matter how challenging life may be, each moment can be seen as either a problem or an opportunity. If we can understand this, we can start to bring our entire life to the path.

~ Chamtrul Rinpoche

—

You might ask, ‟If I have Buddha nature, why can’t I perceive it right now?”

It is because, like gold hidden in its matrix, that nature is hidden by our habits that we have accumulated since beginningless time. These habits have been created by our disturbing emotions and then reinforced by the actions that those disturbances have produced.

~ Shechen Gyaltsab

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The ultimate nature of the mind is empty and without basis. It is intangible like empty space. But this is not a nihilistic view. Self-arisen, primordial consciousness is original, clear consciousness. Self-arisen and self-illuminating, it is like the essence of the sun.

~ Guru Rinpoche

 

28Jan 2018

Elaborating on “Why Sex Workers Should Replace Dating Coaches”

0 Relationships, Sexuality, Writing 0

Wrote this yesterday  by Dave Booda entitled: Why Sex Workers Should Replace Dating Coaches

I have a lot of writing I’d like to get out on the subjects of relationships, sexuality and masculinity, including:

– how tantric energy practices offer the path out of porn addiction for men rather than the misguided #nofap movement

– the counter productive, often destructive beliefs many men have picked up from engaging with a lot of the material in the pick up artist world

– the crucial relationship between meditation and gaining self-mastery over one’s sexual energy

– the immense benefits for a man’s purpose-driven energetic drive and for his woman’s pleasure of learning how to control his ejaculation (sometimes going weeks or months without spilling physical seed)

– why polyamory that is explored without a foundation in stabilized awakened awareness and a larger spiritual orientation is destined for draining emotionally tumultuous relationships.

Which topic would you like to see me write about first? Or do you have a related topic you’d like me to write on a post on?

27Jan 2018

Is the Divine Feminine Ahead of the Divine Masculine?

0 Relationships, Sexuality, Spirituality 0

Currently the Divine Feminine is way ahead of the Divine Masculine.

And the gap is accelerating.

Too many men are either stuck in disenfranchisement, toxic patriarchal patterns or are spending most of their energy following women onto the feminine path.

One telling metric: all the amazing single women who are unable to find a romantic partner but not the converse.

Another litmus test: how comfortable is society today with Goddess Energy?

Now, how comfortable is it with God Energy?

Lighting the path towards a Healthy Divine Masculine is a particularly important societal task in the coming years, as destructive patriarchal dynamics are acceleratingly deconstructed, lest half the population wander lost.

This Universe is only healthy in Balance.

Yin and Yang.
Shiva and Shakti.
Structure and Flow.
Purpose and Love.
Emptiness and Form.

16Sep 2017

My commentary on Anthony Lemme’s post on caring about what other people think about us

0 Psychology, Relationships 0

A great post from my friend Anthony Lemme below.

My commentary with an exercise to step into this State of Being, below that.

—

Do yourself and humanity a solid and let people have their experience of you.

Let them have their assessments, assumptions, judgments and opinions.

Especially the ridiculous or less than favorable ones.

Oftentimes, it’s a sign that you’re on the right track.

As much as it may hurt, piss you off or seem unfair and unreasonable, I promise you won’t die if someone doesn’t approve of you or is thinking or saying things about you that are inaccurate.

In fact, one of the greatest load-lightening practices one can undertake in life is to be OK with being misinterpreted, misunderstood or having a less than perfect approval rating.

For many of us this is quite challenging.

Especially in a world where being self-preoccupied, overly image-conscious and fixated on external approval and validation is often reinforced and rewarded.

Another invaluable load-lightning practice is to be curious rather than defensive or reactive.

If you’re having trouble with someone’s assessment of or commentary on you (or anything for that matter) and can’t seem to let it go, rather than getting your metaphorical panties in a bunch or knickers in a knot, try being curious.

And if you’re not wearing panties or knickers, metaphorical or real, congratulations, you’re ahead of the game!

But I digress.

Back to being curious…

Try moving your attention inward toward yourself before turning it outward toward others, making them wrong or turning them into an enemy.

What’s happening for me?
What am I feeling?
What’s my reaction to this really about?
What am I defending?

Is my actual safety or well-being being compromised or am I merely protecting my identity and image of myself?
Am I projecting or adding something onto this situation or person that’s not really there?
Is transference or countertransference occurring?

Is this something that, like it or not, comes with the territory of an activity I’m engaging in or a role I’m playing that I’m going to have to grow some thicker skin around?
What would have them say or think that?
Is there something I’m not seeing or getting about myself?
Is there any truth in it, even a small percentage, that might be useful to take in?

There may be no logical reason for someone to dislike or disparage you other than their own “fuckedupness” running amok (I say this playfully and with a lot love, as we all have our particular flavors of mischief-causing fuckedupness that runs amok at times).

And there might be a reason that makes total sense.
It might be a beautiful opportunity to cultivate more understanding and shared reality with another.
It might be an opportunity to create a new connection or deepen an existing one.

It might be an opportunity to be less attached to, sensitive about and protective of your image.
It might be an opportunity to see where you’re jammed up or where you’re too easily blown around by the winds of life.

It might be an opportunity to speak up, set some much needed boundaries or clean some house.
It’ll definitely be an opportunity to cultivate more awareness and improve resiliency.

At the end of the day, including resource depleting campaigns and efforts to influence and manipulate, we have next to no control over what others think and say about us.

Best to accept this, move forward and enjoy the gift of being alive rather than contracting and resisting.

It’ll free up a lot of energy that can be used for things much more beneficial and productive than being upset and looping in uncomfortable feelings, engaging in a victim narrative or taking a defensive posture when there’s no real need to.

That doesn’t mean you have to like it and it does mean you have to get over it, get over yourself and get on with your life and the tasks at hand.

For the sake of clarity, I’m not talking about extreme situations.

If someone is saying wildly untrue things about you that are legitimately compromising your safety, freedom, relationships, reputation or work in the world, by all means do what you need to do within the law to put an end to it or set the record straight.

Same goes if you’re seeing it happen to someone else.
That sort of thing is not OK and should never be tolerated.
Life is way too short and way too precious to spend worrying about or trying to manage the experience and behavior of others.

Let others be themselves and have their own experience of things.

If you’re a solid, kind, considerate person living a life of integrity and paying deep attention, staying open to feedback, cleaning up your messes and course correcting as you go, those around you and those who truly know and love you will know the truth.

And although everybody matters and should be considered, when all is said and done, our relationship with and experience of ourselves and those nearest and dearest are the ones that matter most.

End of random, unsolicited, long-winded public service announcement.

—
Anthony is spot on.

Here’s an exercise for people to work on this:

1. Write down 3 things you believe with high conviction that some of your friends will find controversial or vehemently disagree with.

2. Write a post on Facebook about one of these things.

3. Stand in the storm of outrage and meditate on Anthony’s post about not worrying about what other people think of you.

4.Watch how once the storm has passed everything is mostly the same. You may have lost some friends, but you’ll also have gained some. The net benefit will be that you attracted people you are truly aligned with and repelled people you aren’t. That’s a win.

5. You will most likely feel very liberated and feel a significant increase in your capacity for self-expression and find a new level of personal creativity that was shut off for fear of getting kicked out of the tribe.

6. As you ponder partaking in this exercise what is your resistance? What are your reasons for not doing this? What are you afraid will happen?

*And if you’re not built or ready to take this kind of risk (yet) that’s okay, too.

12May 2016

Taking Responsibility For Your Partner’s Emotional State As The Gateway to Relationship Success and Spiritual Oneness

0 Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality 0

Tara and I were talking about our partnership and one of the biggest reasons why it is working so well.

And that reason is that we both take responsibility for each other’s emotional state.

We don’t tell each other to go deal with anything on their own.

We don’t say, “what you’re feeling, that’s yours to deal with, that’s not mine. That’s for you to process on your own”.

We believe that whatever is arising for one of us, is the responsibility of both of us.

We take attachment theory seriously, and its recommendation that the best way to create a flourishing relationship is to cultivate the qualities of a ‘secure functioning relationship’.

And this is a central quality of a secure functioning relationship: making taking care of each other’s emotional state a top priority, and recognizing that we have a duty to hold each other through pain and discomfort, even when we don’t feel like it; even when we are at our own limits, that means the situation is demanding us to grow and expand our capacity.

A secure relationship is NOT about two individuals just coexisting, sleeping together and trying to tiptoe around their partners’ weakness, hidden feelings or triggers, because one person feels like they can’t handle them if they came out…

A secure relationship is about embracing EVERYTHING about your partner, recognizing that for the partnership to truly work, two people must MERGE their identities, and create a new Whole that is greater than the sum of its Parts.

A secure relationship is about two people coming together and birthing a new third entity — a new identity that envelopes them both, where the individual identity is still there but the new identity of the Relationship is more Significant than the individual’s separate autonomous identities — like a a large sphere with two smaller spheres inside of it. You are both the small sphere and the large sphere, but the large sphere becomes more important.

[[And for my polyamorous friends this model is just as relevant, if not more relevant, only instead of 2 small spheres inside the large sphere there are now 3 or more small spheres inside the large sphere.  But there has to be a large sphere, *securely containing* all the small spheres otherwise it won’t work. (Analysis of Why and a description of all the failure states is a different post).]]

From this vantage point, of course you prioritize taking care of your partner’s emotional state, whatever it is, because you have a MERGED identity state, and their emotional state IS your emotional state. They are you and you are them.

And this points to a deeper timeless, spiritual truth:

Identity isn’t a tangible, solid thing. Identity is just a construction. It’s just a software program. It’s just a map we have about “what is us” and “what is not us”. And that map can change and be re-written.

Phantom Limb experiments by V.S. Ramachandran are one the anomalies that evidence this profound truth. Some amputee patients would feel like their removed limb was hurting them even though it was no longer there. Why? Their identity pattern still believed the limb was a part of them, even though it was not, but they felt pain in their non-existent limb nonetheless. In other words their software dictated their reality and felt experience of pain more than their hardware. To remedy this ailment, Ramachandran came up with a therapy using a box and two mirrors that would give the appearance of re-animating the cut off limb that would enable the patient to interact with the limb, get rid of the chronic pain by re-patterning this faulty software program.

So the first order of this deep spiritual truth is that Identity is changeable. The second order is that Identity can evolve to include you and your partner, so that you and your partner are One. The third order spiritual truth is that there is no limit to how far you can expand your identity, once you’ve realized it’s changeable. You can expand your identity to include the entire world and kosmos, so that it is all You.

This is what all the great sages and mystics point to, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, when they say, “We’re All One. Love your self. Love your neighbor as yourself. Because your neighbor is yourself. It’s all Love.”

You can have a taste of that identity expansion through merging your identity with your partner. This begins with taking full responsibility for their emotional state.

…And then maybe sometime, in many years or lifetimes, you’ll be ready to take responsibility for the emotional state of all sentient beings.

03Jan 2016

On Tolerating Shit In Your Life

0 Culture, Philosophy, Psychology, Relationships 0

A post on Community, Integrity, and Calling Out People who Cross Your Threshold Of Shit.

———
On Christmas an article in the NYTimes was published entitled, “A Spiritual Leader Gains Stature, Trailed by a Troubled Past”, that is essentially an exposé on Marc Gafni, rehashing old transgressions of his because he and his organizations are gaining significant power again.

The article served as a lightning rod for a large amount of latent energy to come rushing to the surface, desiring to take Marc Gafni down.

I read a fair amount of the commentary and posts being written because I know Marc, the Integral community he is a part of, and many people who are both strong supporters and detractors of him.

I am also very interested and invested in the concepts and constructs of Community, Integrity, Forgiveness, Standards and Morality.

One of the most insightful statements I read written about Marc’s past and path was that the “systematic vulnerability he is exposing is preying on those who live by the ‘benefit of the doubt’”.

The idea that “benefit of the doubt’ is a systemic vulnerability that is regularly being exploited really hit home for me.

And I began pondering a related concept I’m calling the Threshold of Shit.

What is the Threshold of Shit we’re willing to tolerate from people in our lives before we’re willing to do something about it?

I believe many people’s and their community’s Thresholds of Shit are way too high.

Thus, their life and community is interspersed and surrounded by lots of Shit.

I see people doing shitty things do other people all the time with impunity and almost zero accountability, because 1) it is not illegal and 2) the community of people close to them is willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

This includes Very Shitty things like: Treating Romantic Partners Terribly in Breaking up. Fucking over Business Partners. Exploiting Customers with Borderline Immoral Marketing.

And less Shitty, but still Shitty things like: Narcissistically ignoring anyone else’s Reality, Unwittingly Projecting Negative Emotional States Onto Other People. Not Taking Responsibility for One’s Own Actions and Energy.

I want to live in a world and community where people get called on their SHIT.

And not when it becomes a Pile of Shit…Right When They Shit. Redhanded.

1) It keeps places beautiful, smelling nice, growing, healthy and clean.

2) It actually serves the Shitter. Once they know they can’t get away with their shit, the incentives of the system are such that there are no more shitty shortcuts to get what they want. The only way to get what they want is to BECOME A BETTER PERSON.

I’m annoyed and angered by how many shitty things people get away with because the Threshold of Shit most people are willing to Tolerate is just way too high.

I won’t stand for Shitheads in my life nor shitheads in the community I’m growing.

If you shit on me or my community members you will be called out and…

Then given the opportunity to atone, improve and enter right relationship with right action.

Or if not, Taken Down by a White Hot Sword of Truth. (h/t to Adam Gordon for inspiration for the imagery wink emoticon )

Most of this post isn’t about Marc, it’s about what reading about Marc brought up for me.

I haven’t read enough or talked to enough people to have a position I’m confidently willing to get behind. But for now what I’d say is, I like much of Marc’s writing and his vision for an Integral Spiritual World, but given his past abuses of power, and the amount of mistrust that clearly surrounds him I don’t see how he can be the Leader of an Organization without betraying his own values. For if he stands for a Movement that envisions a new kind of Wise, Loving and Trustable World…but the Movement and World he wants to see come into Reality loses trust, credibility and momentum as a result of him leading it, I don’t see how he can put himself in a leadership role unless he values his own personal power and expression more than the movement and ideals he stands for.

TLDR: Don’t Tolerate Shit in Your Life. Call out the Shitheads. Enjoy Peace, Serenity, and Mutual Accelerated Growth.