Powerful Female Voices Healing the Current Cultural Masculine/Feminine Divide

 

I am grateful for the continued presence in my feed of strong, powerful, fiery, articulate female voices lighting the path forward towards the higher forms of Masculine/Feminine relationship in this disorienting time of old form gender deconstructionism.


From Maria Palumbo:

Masculine, society has done you a disservice.

We have told you to kill your soul fire, as to not offend us.

Be nice husbands, good fathers, have a moral life and do not do the wrong thing, or else. But that keeps you from doing anything at all.

We have told you to ask politely for what you want and never own us.

We ask you to smile sweetly, never push, never demand, never hunger.

To be a washed out version of a man.

You have been walking around like a sexual anorexic in the name of being “good,” acting out in ways that bring you shame and pain, because society does not welcome your fullest animal self.

In the name of feminism we declare we don’t need you and find you not knowing how to truly let yourself be needed.

If you are fully awake in your sexuality, we like to call you wrong, humiliate you, even put a label on you and cast you out forever without explaining to you exactly what we desire.

But we need you here.

Pulsating, alive, vibrant, awake.

We need that fire in your eyes that light up when you see a beautiful woman.

We need your hands that know just how to touch us so we cannot help but say your name over and over.

We need your “No,” and “I desire,” more than your “I’m not sure,” and “Are you okay?”

We need you calling out the woman in us with trust in our ability for you to handle us, knowing we will not break under you.

During this #metoo movement you have become even more careful, you are not allowed to have an opinion, you are not allowed to speak up. And we call this women’s freedom.

We think we are giving our women a greater voice by silencing you, jumping on any word that you may or may not say and casting you out of our loving embrace forever.

We are hurting ourselves by removing your agency and power.

No, you might not always say the right thing or do the right thing.

Your come on might be a turn off.

And we will make an adjustment. We will speak up. You musnt turn the light off entirely in fear of being, “too much.”

When we tell you to be quiet:

Speak up.

When we say that your desire is too much:

Roar it from the rooftops.

When you try to talk yourself into a life of normalcy and empty promises:

Burn it all down.

We need you alive, undone, dripping with the nectar of life that nourishes us like nothing else.

This cultural battle for the future aspirational dynamic between Men and Women and the Masculine and the Feminine, is for women to lead.

Not only because the Feminine been historically silenced, but as I’ve written before it is now more Evolved (https://www.facebook.com/maxhmarmer/posts/10212702473970804)
In a post #metoo environment rife with uncorked emotion and energy embodying the full gamut of the better and lesser Angels of our Nature…

With the lesser vibrating with: anger, vitriol, shame, counter-aggression, division and separation.

I am stand for the Better Angels of our Nature vibrating with: love, unity, respect, healing restoration, and mutually transformational symbiosis.
The only way forward to the world our deepest hearts know is possible is through the co-evolutionary empowerment of the upward spiraling double-helix of the Collective Masculine/Feminine Polarity.

Here are two other powerful posts from friends and leaders lighting the way forward written in the last 2 weeks.

From Samantha Sweetwater:

Complaining about patriarchy seems like one of the very worst ways to heal patriarchy. What we resist persists.
I have never seen any conversation about resisting patriarchy do anything to heal it. Rather, it polarizes men from women, stirs anger and separation, and creates divides between imagined sides that aren’t even real.

We’ve all internalized patriarchy, and in my 25 years as a healer I have come to see, without a doubt, that patriarchy entraps and disempowers the masculine in equal proportion to the harm it has done to the feminine.

I feel that it is incumbent on us to drop the block. We have the strength of heart to take the chip off our collective shoulders.

Real healing – both for individuals and between people – is born in the interior strength, courage and self response-ability to set down pain, anger and victimhood and to step forward in trust.

The current terms of the conversation leave very little room for men to be full human beings, to be allies for women, or to come to terms with the fact that patriarchy enslaved them, too.

From Gillian Pothier:

THE SHAMING of THE MASCULINE:
WEAPONIZED FEMININE PAIN

Yesterday, I came across a post here in the FB wilds that made my heart skip a beat.
The subject of this particular thread was masculine ineptitude. Some dude somewhere said the unconscious thing. Some man somewhere was semi-invasive, judgmental + old school in his outreach. All of this is TRUE….and…there is a massive PROBLEM when all that it takes to trip the live-wire of the feminine pain body into a frenzied state of collusion is just some dude who says stupid, uncultivated shit:
another banal example of sanctimonious masculine communication.

Dozens upon dozens of women jumped on the thread and were hungrily throwing down their favorite eye-rolling gifs and snarky comments into the feeding frenzy. One disrespectful comment rolling right after the next, a parade of exasperated, eye-rolling gifs all serving to feed the INCOMPLETE narrative we are mainlining in our collective about the Masculine:

Men are inept.
Men do and say stupid shit.
Men are fools.
(and of course: Men are dangerous, altho this was not the aspect of the Masculine being spotlighted in this particular thread)

In the name of “solidarity”, many women believe that we deserve to experience “fun” or comedy by shaming these behaviors and by celebrating their disrespect of the masculine. It is, after all, what we have been hypnotized into believing is an appropriate response via television + movies that celebrate the bumbling masculine, the man-boy, or the fool.

In my clearly less entertaining world-view, laughing at another’s expense is never a “parade” or comedic. It is nothing more than gallows humor:
an unconscious and misaligned antidote to our own unspoken *greatest and singularly most devastating feminine fear*:

WHAT IF THIS IS TRUE?
What if NO MAN will EVER be able to meet me in the fullness and the wildness of my own feminine expression?

As I looked over the names of the women who were posting on that thread, my heart sank further. I know some of these women personally and professionally and have long admired their voices and their work in the world. They may read these words. And yet, here they were, armed with snarky gifs and sass, highlighting + shaming the unconscious masculine in the *false-light* name of “solidarity”.

With clucking enthusiasm, the women cheered:
“OMG, THIS THREAD IS THE BEST THING ON THE INTERNET!”
Um, NO.

Let me tell you something, babygirl, that thread — and what motivates threads like these — is decidedly NOT “the best thing on the internet”…..these threads REEK of feminine desperation. Sure, its all packaged up in cheeky “fun” and “humor” and “solidarity” — but it is straight-up feminine grief, rage, fear, and heartbreak all tricked out in the wolf’s clothing of social media.
Posts like these (and there is no shortage of them) are viewed hundreds and hundreds of time, they energetically AMPLIFY THE WOUND and the separation between men and women: they are *not* benevolent.

There is always a “river beneath the river” — and when dozens of women come together to commiserate, disrespect, poke fun and share quips of their latest encounter with the unconscious, checked-out masculine, it is not “humor” they are seeking. It is a pressure release valve, *at the expense of the masculine* (and their deepest feminine integrity, I would fully suspect) because their own feminine pain body is terribly hurting. They have been disappointed, heartbroken, or a wound has been inadvertently touched or re-opened and instead of BEING WITH THE TRUTH OF THE PAIN, we lash out….lipgloss, hair just so, a cute dress, mile high heels… and READY TO KILL.

I deeply understand this feminine desperation:
IT IS IN ME, TOO.

There are moments that this longing feels ancient and timeless, a deep desperate weariness in body + heart for men to ALIGN in action and behavior to the TRUTH of WHO THEY ARE. And when they FAIL through meekness, arrogance, impulsivity, unconsciousness, or privilege, it touches a brimstone in the feminine psyche that RAGES in anguish. I know this place in me…I know both the fury and the sorrow that feels like it may just swallow me whole.

THERE IS A MASSIVE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEELING OUR FEELINGS AND WEAPONIZING THEM.

The moment we as women use our voice or social platforms to spotlight masculine ineptitude just for the hell of it, to shame men in a throw-down of anguish + sorrow masquerading as “humor”, we are literally weaponizing our own pain. Our pain becomes nothing more than a heat-seeking missile for collusion amongst our wounded sisters. We literally project it, vomiting it into the collective for agreement and collusion by other women who share similar wounding, the same fears, and a similar unmetabolized trauma constellation. All human beings share the same evolutionary thrust to belong….but seeking agreement and collusion to unconsciously regulate OUR OWN PAIN is nothing more than collective trauma-bonding.

The dark truth is that sometimes it IS easier to weaponize our pain than it is to bear the weight of our own archaic feminine heartache. However, each time we weaponize our pain, we are CREATING THE PROBLEM. We are perpetuating the narrative that is being *AGREED UPON BY WOMEN ABOUT MEN* and THEREFORE **CREATED** in the collective.

Women: instead of giving up our power by succumbing to shaming men for their weakness/unconsciousness/abuse of privilege, etc, we need to UNDERSTAND OUR OWN POWER and SHOW UP in our FULLNESS ALIGNED TO THIS GREAT and IMMENSE FEMININE CREATIONAL POTENCY.

**DISRESPECTING THE MASCULINE IS THE OPPOSITE FREQUENCY OF TRUE FEMININE POWER.**

I am going to write those words again so that specific transmission stands a shot in the dark chance of penetrating the clenched and armored Feminine heart:

**DISRESPECTING THE MASCULINE IS THE OPPOSITE FREQUENCY OF TRUE FEMININE POWER.**

As women, we need to BE and DO BETTER than this weaponization of our Feminine pain, for ourselves, for one another, our children, our world, and YES: OUR MEN.

 

What Kind of World would be Manifest if both Men and Women were Living at this Frequency?

 

For a woman to open up to her immense, natural sexual fullness she needs to trust a man with her heart, soul and sacred feminine core.~ 

She needs to feel that he recognises that she is goddess in incarnate form. He needs to recognise that the core of him – his masculinity – is deeply nourished by the spiritual feminine and that it is only through surrender to this sacred Shakti force that he can become the man he yearns to be (and the world most needs). The blunt – and quite harsh – truth is that most men do not yet realise that they are only experiencing a fraction of their woman’s sexual potential. Through a lack of teaching, role modelling, and example in how to deal with feminine energy, many men bypass the incredible sacred sensual riches that lay deep within a woman’s body.

Worshipping Goddess-energy has nothing to do with satisfying the ego or personality needs of women. It has nothing to do with unequal gender roles or subservience. It is based on this truth: a man who devotes himself to opening up his woman to the full power of her sexual Shakti energy will not only experience heights of erotic pleasure that are off the scale, but will also give himself the strength to step into his own full Divine Masculine purpose.

Devotion to the Feminine Essence is the torchlight for a man to realise his spiritual purpose on the earth. If he has embodied the energy of trust, commitment and dedication to being the best, most evolved man he can be, then she will instantly recognise it. He doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’, or even have it all figured out. He just needs to come to her with a resonance in his heart that says: “I know that it is only through dedicating myself to loving your feminine spirit that you will open your body up to me in the way that will transform me forever. I realise that if I am in any shade of denial in my own life and regarding my masculine purpose, that you will intuitively know it and withhold a portion of your sexual light from me. If I come to you with a willingness to grow, to honour your Light as a means of realising the spiritual and personal potential of both of us, I know that I will get to experience true Heaven when you accept me into your body.

As I come to you with a surrendered, open-hearted, devotional passion, so you respond to me with ever-increasing vulnerability, exquisite melting openness and the most exciting sacred sexual power I could ever experience. You begin to take off your layers of defences; the hardened shell of distrust, self-protection and emotional hurt that has set in from years of feeling that you have to shield your most sacred erotic nature from those men that are not ready to see it.

As the protective layers around your sexual core gradually fall away, I get to experience sex with you as the most transformative key to my own masculine progress and evolution. There is literally nothing else that can encourage me to build my masculine energy and work in the world as the blasting open of your sexual light-centres as the radiance fills my chakras and my heart.’ It is pure, sacred, erotic alchemy: the blending of the completely receptive, wide-opened, fully-trusting feminine body with the devotional and conscious active, directional masculine life force.

Men, when you love a woman in this way you will, as a natural consequence, be asked by the Universe to ‘step up’ to your Life Purpose in ways that require true masculine potency. You will be forced to come out of your hiding places and comfort zones. You will have to start putting yourself ‘on the edge’ of your fears about being out in the world as a warrior presence of masculine wisdom. Experiencing female sexuality in it’s full spectrum of transformational expression will not only send you into physical and spiritual orgasms of cosmic proportions, it will literally ejaculate you into your Masculine Life Purpose. She won’t tolerate anything less; so if you want to keep diving deeper and deeper into the eternally replenishing, profound wonders of the feminine sexual core, you will have to keep on worshipping at her altar so that you get to live as the exceptional man you were born to be.

– Sophie Bashford

Art: “Os Beduínos” by Bruno Steinbach Silvas

Men Shutting Down in the Face of Female Emotional Intensity

 

I hear that it is the norm for men to shut down, to avoid, to wither, cower, or lash out in the face of Feminine Tempest.

…but I’m curious how prevalent this is?

Men need to train themselves to be unmovable and unshakeable in the face of this High Frequency Energy.

Men need to learn how to absorb and transmute any discomfort in their body from this emotional intensity and identify as the Open Space in which all things arise.

They must become the Empty Container for the Feminine to express.

For it is the capacity to hold this Storm of Emotional Energy that the Feminine needs to fully drop into Trust, Surrender and in time, Devotion.

And it is the same capacity that is required to be a Man on Purpose.

For the ability to overcome the energetic blockages required to Abide as the Empty Vessel is what is required for True Purpose to pour into your Being from your Soul,

And not just visit for a Peak Experience, but take up Residence.

Where Authentic, Unending Purpose and Power starve any weeds of Ordinary Insecurity.

Instead, Cultivating the Irresistible, Irrevocable Natural State:

Home.

Pithy Post Potpourri – Winter/Spring 2018

If you and your partner(s) can’t both reliably access a state of awakened awareness beyond the ordinary sense of self then any exploration of non-monogamy will inevitably lead to an increase in pain and suffering.

#PsychographicEntryCriteria

When you lose your cool, when you get triggered do you tell yourself to raise your game and live up to a higher standard?

Or do you justify why it was okay to lose your cool and ascribe fault to other people and external circumstances?

This is one of the key regular decisions that separates the extraordinary humans from the ordinary.

I love my morning meditation view so much.

There is a reason yogis go to the mountaintop.

The sparkling, harmonious, blissful, spacious, luminous nature of reality is unassailably clear.

People who don’t utilize the tool of debt and credit in their life have been afflicted by a false sense of lack.

They lack sufficient belief in themselves.

And they lack a willingness to invest in themselves for the long run and to bet on themselves.

The question for analyzing whether debt and credit is worth utilizing is very simple:

Can you create more value, faster with the money you are loaned than the interest rate you are given?

One of the worst decisions the masculine can make is to seek comfort.

The masculine grows through setting big goals, pushing to exhaustion and then savoring accomplishment in the recovery phase before setting a new bigger goal that lies beyond the new expanded comfort zone.

From the higher perspective there is no such thing as rejection.

There is just energy jostling around trying to find its way into proper alignment.

From the higher perspective there is no such thing as failure.

There is just feedback about what needs to be improved and recalibrated.

Black Panther was so much better than the Last Jedi.

Plot and Story Arc.

Character Development & Consistency.

Visual Effects.

Empowering portrayal of Cultural Minorities.

…the script for Luke Skywalker was particularly terrible…acting like someone who was never a Jedi

…so many of the Star Wars characters felt like forced affirmative action plays rather than authentic casting.

…One disappointing feature of the Wakandan’s was that for being so technologically and culturally advanced in many dimensions, they still had an Ethnocentric Worldview when looking to the outside world, opining about how to help downtrodden and oppressed blacks around the world rather than how to help downtrodden and oppressed humans with their technological prowess.

All for now. No time to be a detailed movie critic.

I am currently reading the Life Divine by Sri Aurobindo.

Who else has read it?

My personal website is titled In Quest of Super Humanity and I’m coming to see how my intuitive guidance has been (previously unbeknownst to me) plugged into the same source as Aurobindo’s, especially with respect to his articulation of the Supermind and its Divine Unfolding through Humanity’s Involutionary Process.

Your body is an instrument that the Consciousness of your Soul learns to play.

An Evolved Soul is therefore a masterful musician.

Back on my own again and restarting my cooking skills after 2 years of dormancy.

Immediately noticing a shift in my relationship to food preparation as I’ve deepened my relationship to the fundamentally universal nature of subtle energy in all things.

Succinct infographic of a lot of misguided class warfare and anti-wealth sentiment from the Liberal Left.

Always remember that how we react to every moment of our life will reinforce either our negative habits or positive habits. No matter how challenging life may be, each moment can be seen as either a problem or an opportunity. If we can understand this, we can start to bring our entire life to the path.

~ Chamtrul Rinpoche

You might ask, ‟If I have Buddha nature, why can’t I perceive it right now?”

It is because, like gold hidden in its matrix, that nature is hidden by our habits that we have accumulated since beginningless time. These habits have been created by our disturbing emotions and then reinforced by the actions that those disturbances have produced.

~ Shechen Gyaltsab

The ultimate nature of the mind is empty and without basis. It is intangible like empty space. But this is not a nihilistic view. Self-arisen, primordial consciousness is original, clear consciousness. Self-arisen and self-illuminating, it is like the essence of the sun.

~ Guru Rinpoche

 

Elaborating on “Why Sex Workers Should Replace Dating Coaches”

Wrote this yesterday  by Dave Booda entitled: Why Sex Workers Should Replace Dating Coaches

I have a lot of writing I’d like to get out on the subjects of relationships, sexuality and masculinity, including:

– how tantric energy practices offer the path out of porn addiction for men rather than the misguided #nofap movement

– the counter productive, often destructive beliefs many men have picked up from engaging with a lot of the material in the pick up artist world

– the crucial relationship between meditation and gaining self-mastery over one’s sexual energy

– the immense benefits for a man’s purpose-driven energetic drive and for his woman’s pleasure of learning how to control his ejaculation (sometimes going weeks or months without spilling physical seed)

– why polyamory that is explored without a foundation in stabilized awakened awareness and a larger spiritual orientation is destined for draining emotionally tumultuous relationships.

Which topic would you like to see me write about first? Or do you have a related topic you’d like me to write on a post on?

Is the Divine Feminine Ahead of the Divine Masculine?

Currently the Divine Feminine is way ahead of the Divine Masculine.

And the gap is accelerating.

Too many men are either stuck in disenfranchisement, toxic patriarchal patterns or are spending most of their energy following women onto the feminine path.

One telling metric: all the amazing single women who are unable to find a romantic partner but not the converse.

Another litmus test: how comfortable is society today with Goddess Energy?

Now, how comfortable is it with God Energy?

Lighting the path towards a Healthy Divine Masculine is a particularly important societal task in the coming years, as destructive patriarchal dynamics are acceleratingly deconstructed, lest half the population wander lost.

This Universe is only healthy in Balance.

Yin and Yang.
Shiva and Shakti.
Structure and Flow.
Purpose and Love.
Emptiness and Form.

A Script For Women to Deal with Sexually Leaky, Sensitive New-Age Guys

Yesterday a facebook friend of mine posted this — and it got a lot of attention, energy and engagement:

I’d like to mention another phenomenon I’ve noticed regarding male behavior: the sensitive spiritual guy who loves women SO MUCH that he just has to LOVE THEM ALL (i.e., is constantly engaging in quasi or blatantly poly emotional or sensual or sexual behavior, is surreptitiously or blatantly “checking other women out,” is puppy piling every chance he gets – and all of this even when in a committed relationship, etc). And he can get away with it because he’s the rare appealing spiritual guy in a sea of 100 other amazing & awakening women. This one’s a bit more pernicious, because it LOOKS like men trying to “heal” or “appreciate” the feminine, but my experience is that it’s more shakti stealing….Can anyone relate? Feels like a continuation of male privilege behavior in new age guise. I’ve also recently been at some mixed gender awareness events & I heard the confession of men that “I simply can’t help myself when an attractive woman is around, I go all to pieces, even if I’m married, and what do I do with that energy?” Something feels off to me with that, as well.

I agree.

And I wanted to offer a script to beat these men at their own narrative control game.

If he says something like, “I simply can’t help myself when an attractive woman is around, I go all to pieces, even if I’m married, and what do I do with that energy?”

Tell him, “You might want to focus on spiritual development over attending to the Feminine, because spiritually developed people have mastered their impulses and reactivity.”

Then ask him, “What’s more important to you: your spiritual development or fulfilling your sexual desires?”

He will probably say ‘spiritual development’ to keep the act going.

Then when he says “spiritual development”,

Tell him, “Probably the best way for you to progress spiritually would be to take a vow of celibacy for a while until you have control over your sexual impulses. Then once you have control over your impulses you can reintegrate your sexuality into your spiritually.

This would both serve your Higher Self and the Collective Feminine.

That’s what you really want right??

Because right now your un-integrated leaky sexuality is perpetuating the problem.”

My assessment of the situation is that most of these Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAGs) are just unconscious Wolves in Sheep Clothing.

They unwittingly move towards the behaviors that confer evolutionarily advantages towards advancing the base desires of sex, power and genetic replication.

Imitation is rampantly successful in the Evolutionary Record and the history of Natural Selection.

It is much easier to imitate Spiritual Development and attempt to reap the rewards from that status than to actually BECOME Spiritually Developed.

Good luck out there!

On #MeToo and sexual assault

I’m saddened by how many female friends of mine have experienced sexual assault.
But I’m heartened by the collective courage of women speaking out in the last 24 hours.

Men,
We must do better.
And commit to holding ourselves and our brothers to a MUCH higher standard.
Which means doing the work to heal our wounds, lighten our individual and collective Karmic Shadows, and learn the skills for authentic relating.

Sexuality is never something to be forced.
Paradoxically and ironically when sexuality is forced,
It moves the Assaulter farther away from what they actually desire:
Love. Connectedness. Pleasure. Mattering. Belonging.
Sexuality is messy, and it’s easy to make mistakes and hurt people even when the best of intentions are present.
Which is why it is all the important we establish a culture of forgiveness and restoration when mistakes are inevitably made, rather a culture of blame and punishment.

Remember we are one human family,
All trying to find our way back Home.
Victims of Assault,
If you ever need a Fiery Soul to protect you and direct some Intense Heat at those who deserve it,
Or a champion of Restorative Justice in service of our Collective Communal Healing and Evolution,
Or if you just need someone to listen to you, a shoulder to cry on or a safe, warm hug,
I am here.
Just send me a ping,
Or give me a ring.

A lesson in tantra: we’re not talking about sex

We’re talking about ENERGY!!

Here’s the Critical Context you need to know:

Do not attempt this practice yourself unless you have Stabilized Emptiness and a Teacher who has confirmed you have sufficient Mastery…

And even that is only one of many Prerequisites.

I’m merely showing you what’s possible.

Most meditation paths are flaccid like a limp dick.

Asceticism is definitely not a 21st century Leading Edge.

However, celibacy is useful for those with sexual fixations.

I’m concerned about the all the Tantrikas in the New Age community out there practicing Tantra divorced from sacred Tibetan Buddhist or Vedic Tantric tradition and lineage.

Practicing the sexual frequencies of Tantra without Stabilizing Awakening will send your Spiritual Progress Backwards for Years.

True Tantra must be the Union of Form and Formlessness.

If you want to walk the path of True Tantra you must Cultivate Bodhicitta otherwise if you try to access this Energy for your own Selfish Gain, you will be Attacked by Energies in the Subtle Realm like this year’s Suicidal Effigy at Burning Man.

Heed this warning. This is not theory. I have friends who have been hit with Mania, Strokes and Physical Injury.

“Bodhicitta is a spontaneous wish to attain enlightenment motivated by great compassion for all sentient beings, accompanied by a falling away of the attachment to the illusion of an inherently existing self.”

*The demons I was referring to are also called Dharma Protectors or Wrathful Deities.

Ultimately, you want to be an Empty Vessel free of Energetic Content, with the Capacity to Access whatever Energy is called for in the Moment based on Intention and Higher Will.