Reflections on My 25th Birthday

The clock has struck midnight.

Today is my 25th Birthday.

I have now lived a quarter century of life on Spaceship Earth.

Time has simultaneously passed very quickly and very slowly.

When time is paradoxically experienced this way, a perfection of usage is signaled.

A Goldilocks zone. Not too fast. Not too slow.

Truth be told, I have never really experienced myself as my biological age.

In my late teenage years, I realized I could use this dissonance between the perception and reality of my age to open doors, by displaying qualities that would have people label me “precocious”, “a young star” and “wunderkind”. But as I crossed the threshold into adulthood, and my material accomplishments did not keep up with the expectations of my previously projected, and partly internally created narrative, I found sharing my age no longer served me.

My interactions were deeper, more real, more authentic, if I did not expose my biological youth. I experienced all sorts of strange projections when I shared my age: incredulity, immaturity, a search to find cracks to classify my presence as a facade.

Biological age is just a number that allows one to make inferences about average people.

And I am not average.

The farther one lives from the center of society’s bell curve, the more unconventional one is, the more age becomes a meaningless indicator.

Now, I am ready to reclaim and own my age.

I am proud of what I’ve done with my 25 years on this planet.

Yet, there is a deep part of me that knows that my life is only just beginning.

That all that came before was merely training or a pre-season for the main event.

My role and function are now clear.

And I am ready to lead from the solidity and gift of its definition.

Furthermore, I’ve come to deeply internalize that we humans ‘come in with stuff’.

We have karma.

We have souls.

And some souls are older than others.

No, the scientific establishment hasn’t validated this presumption yet.

But in time they will.

Anomalous phenomenological insight always precedes theory, model, experiment, data and peer-reviewed validation.

I know I am an old soul.

And so are many of my closest friends.

We experience things the scientific establishment can’t explain.

It took me awhile to learn the sophisticated intellectual and philosophical tools to precisely set sail in these dangerously enchanted waters, without getting lost in what I perceived to be naive, ungrounded, often counter-productive new age beliefs.

Since I have integrated my previously incarnated depth, my life makes so much more sense.

My callings, my deepest desires, my pain, my hardships, my trials and tribulations, my feelings of already knowingness, my mind, my gifts, my friends, my lovers, my unrequited loves, my business partners, my botched relationships and my missed connections.

All the puzzle pieces are coming together.

I stand at the precipice of a mountainous past and a grand future.

From my lofty perch, I see new plentiful new lands, glimmering with transcendent possibility.

I see new worlds to explore.

To settle in, to lay claim to, to build and to conquer.

To date much of my journey had to be undertaken in isolation.

But that is quickly changing.

There is a great African proverb,

“If you want to travel fast, travel alone. If you want to travel far, travel together.”

There were few roads to traverse the treacherous terrain to the lofty perch on which I perch.

In the silence of solitude, my machete has sliced through the leaves and branches of many jungles, my appendages have navigated the rock faces of many mountains.

Trailblazing new paths all on my own was simultaneously orienting and disorienting, invigorating and exhausting, liberating in new realms of wholeness and enslaving in new realms of loneliness.

I have experienced the euphoric highs of oneness and the realization of timeless Absolutes and the lows of swallowing depressions and bodily dysfunction, unable to perceive truth, experience beauty, or taste goodness.

I have feared my Hero’s Journey may have come to an unceremonious end or been illusion altogether, with the only lifelines within reach, seemingly offering support in exchange for giving up my Truth…

But before giving up my Truth.

I would rather die.

This is both metaphorically and quite literally true.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

When I am aligned with my essence which is higher.

I am engulfed in a raging, creative fire.

This fire of mine and I, have now spent many years working together, learning how to coexist and thrive with each other, graduating beyond the realms of the Sorcerer’s apprentice, in preparation for unleashing massive shockwaves of energy on this earth.

I am endlessly consumed by the evolutionary trajectory of this majestic world, universe and multiverse we inhabit.

…what higher potentials it wants to teleologically and autopoetically unfold into…

…what the future of Consciousness is dying to become…

…what societal structures we humans must make to make that potential a methodically progressing developmental reality…

I stand here before you, not alone, but on the shoulders of many giants who have come before me.

I stand here on the platforms of many teachers and mentors.

I am here to pick up where they left off.

Their presence and guidance uplifts me.

With energies residing in both the physical world…

…and the luminous netherworld.

I am thankful to live in these post-modern times.

Where heretics may not be crucified for speaking their mind.

Where the most negativity I experience is the loss of social connections.

Who were never real friends of mine.

The universe has instilled a deep faith within me.

A faith I have sometimes lost.

But it never fails to return.

Always stronger than before.

Permeating my being with a deep inner knowing that nothing will stop me from bringing the murmuring, rumbling, pleasurable pangs of my destiny into the world.

Not even death.

Should the grim reaper unexpectedly visit me, my soul is ready and able to transform like Obi Wan to Darth Vader’s light saber.

And even should that not be the case, Death I would still fear not.

For as many great Mystics and Sages have foretold…

…many aspects of the Beingness within us all…

…are always already immortal.

My confidence in spiritual transmutation to physical manifestation…

…comes not from my worldly accomplishments…

…but from the results of my commitment to the daily path of mastery…

…in a vast range of models, methodologies and modalities.

I have plunged into the depths of philosophical metatheory in attempt to find our most complete theories of everything…

…Penetrating into what the true nature of this universe actually is.

(Sorry Mr. Hawking, the answers do not lie in physics. The Fundamental is qualitatively different from the Significant).

I burn to understand where the universe is going and what our human role is in shaping it.

My confidence comes from marrying my philosophical and spiritual insights and convictions with an immense practicality and attention to the details of tactical execution. That I have not achieved the worldly results I thought I would by this age, no longer phases me.

I’m smitten by Ray Lewis when he says, “Wins and losses come a dime a dozen. But effort? Nobody can judge effort. Effort is between you and you. Effort ain’t got nothing to do with nobody else…you got to go out and show them that I’m a different creature now than I was five minutes ago. Cause I’m pissed off for greatness. Because you ain’t pissed off for greatness, that mean you OK with being mediocre. Ain’t no man in here OK with being just basic. So let’s do what we do.”

I know and trust in the strength I have developed.

At 13, I said to myself, “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet in this life, but I know I’m going to need to be productive” and flung myself into the study of personal development in commitment to self-mastery.

At 17, after immersing myself in the worldview and communities of the Technological Singularity, I realized that increasing the success rate of startups was one of the biggest levers for accelerating societal transformation and jumped straight into the deep end of the pool in search for a solution.

A few years later I dropped out of Stanford six weeks into my freshman year and the Startup Genome and Compass were born. I took a detour from this work for a few years, to integrate other aspects of my being, but have recently circled back to pick up where I left off, with the skills to now fully accomplish what I originally set out to do. With more news here to share soon.

“You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay ’em
But you won’t take the sting out these words before I say ’em
Cause ain’t no way I’ma let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say I’ma do something I do it,
I don’t give a damn what you think,
I’m doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it’s gassed up, if it thinks it’s stopping me
I’ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I’m tearing down your balcony
No ifs, ands or buts, don’t try to ask him why or how can he
From “Infinite” down to the last “Relapse” album
He’s still shitting, whether he’s on salary paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He’s married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he’s got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt, and fuck the whole universe”
-Eminem, Not Afraid

In my 20’s I began drinking in new knowledge, wisdom and experience streams into my being in big unadulterated gulps: integral theory, philosophical metatheory, systems theory, strategic foresight, management science, developmental psychology, personality systems, developmental religious pluralism, intersubjective dynamics, high intensity interval training, biohacking, ecstatic dance, tantra etc. etc.

I have mapped universal structures, metapatterns and systemic leverage points. I have 1 year, 10 year and 30 year plans for myself, my tribe and society at large, with the flexible recombinant structure to dynamically transmute into all scales in between and adapt to a fundamental, unpredictable emergent nature of reality.

I scan the horizon with the piercing gaze of an owl, unleashing my sharp talons with graceful violence, when I spot prey on the ground below.

I regularly throw myself into the thick of battles I am not prepared for, risk death, experience death, and continually find myself re-born a blazing Phoenix.

I stalk my future prey with the silent ferocity of a pinstriped tiger. A quiet, unsuspecting assassin hidden under midnight cloud cover, ready to unleash an unstoppable deadly force when the time is right.

My confidence comes from a soul based gravitationally assembling, nouveau, tribal intersubjective.

Many of whom have seen me in my darkness, have reflected back to me my faults and my foibles, my overzealousness and my unskillfulness, my shadow and my blindspots, helping me become the man I could not become without them.

Many of whom have seen me in my light and have trusted my penetrating, often soft, kind and gentle, liberating clarity, letting my wisdom and guidance flow through the rivers of their bodies, hearts, minds, and souls, reshaping and realigning the trajectories of their life towards greater wholeness and fullness.

I have come to truly know my own depth in the magnificence of their reflection and our enduring process of mutual transformation.

We will blow up the Death Star that belongs to the Empire of the Status Quo.

And build a world that works for everyone.

Increasingly serving all on their journey to their highest potential.

But we will not do so in an momentary, ejaculatory, nuclear explosion of will power.

But rather through a wholesome, transformative, unceasing tantric love-making session.

Grounded in self-love and fornicated into all of reality.

“You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built.’ You don’t start there. You say ‘I’m gonna lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid,’ and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall.” – Will Smith

So let us purify our consciousness and merge all of our soul’s yearnings into one wonderful, magically, transcendent meta-narrative of teleological universal purpose and love, being and becoming, and live into that future together.

Each day living our lives with the utmost presence, care, and intention to become our highest selves.

Loving the future into the present by living as an exemplar for the future you stand for.

The future you are willing to die for.

Laying kosmic grooves down.

86,400 seconds at a time.

365 days at time.

And soon enough your destiny will ripen into Ours.

If my words resonate with you in any way, stay in touch and we will intersect when the time is right.

Blessings.

Carpe Diem.

Namaste.

Love.

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